THE prime minister only requested a face-to-face meeting with the Queen during the pandemic to ensure his vision was okay, he has confirmed.
Johnson defended himself after former aide Dominic Cummings revealed he intended to visit the 95-year-old monarch while potentially carrying Covid-19 by using the classic get-out that he just wanted to test his eyesight.
Speaking from behind a school fete table hastily erected in Downing Street’s rose garden, Johnson said: “My eyes had been playing up, as I explained to Carrie when I pinched an arse that wasn’t hers.
“So I thought I’d test myself in an honest, patriotic Conservative way by seeing how close I could get to Her Royal Majesty before I recognised her from the money.
“Not only would it give me an ocular workout, it might concentrate her mind on how to end this pandemic if I was spewing out Covid spores just a few feet away. We’d probably be out of the woods by now if I’d popped over.
“Instead here we are a year later still struggling, and all because selfish, jealous Dom didn’t want me to treat Buckingham Palace like Uxbridge Specsavers.”
Johnson added: “What’s the problem? You swallowed all this crap last time.”