May has weird dream where she’s done no preparation for Brexit

THERESA May has had a classic anxiety dream in which she totally failed to do any preparation for Brexit, she has revealed.

The dream – of the type where the dreamer believes they are about to sit an exam but have not revised – made the prime minister extremely relieved to wake up and discover it was not real.

May said: “It was like one of those dreams where you’ve got A-levels the next day but you haven’t done the work and you know you’re going to fail.

“It was all very strange. I was sitting in a big corporate office and a Belgian man kept saying ‘Have you done your Brexit, Mrs May?’. I looked in my briefcase and of course there was nothing there.

“Then a younger man came in and said ‘No cake for you, Mrs May!’ and they laughed. It’s funny really how your sleeping mind can convince you this sort of ridiculous scenario is totally real.

“Then I noticed I wasn’t wearing any trousers so it must be a dream. I do remember seeing a calendar on the wall saying 29 March 2019, so I wrote that down in case it means something.”

May is currently due to meet EU leaders in Brussels to deliver her final attempt at a Brexit plan, at which point she will scream like a character in The Twilight Zone.