OVERSEAS workers hoping to enter Britain will be fast-tracked if they can prove they watched and understood Adolescence, the government has confirmed.
As part of sweeping immigration reforms, Labour announced that overseas workers will be eligible to apply for permanent residency provided they have watched all four episodes of the show and are able to complete a short quiz.
The prime minister said: “Because I’m flailing for anything popular, I’ve decided Adolescence is hugely important and now I’m misguidedly turning that into policy.
“The threat of enduring four punishing hours of a single-shot drama with Scouse accents is a deterrent to migrants. Any willing to watch Stephen Graham’s slow spiral into despair are serious about integrating.
“As well as highlighting the horror of online radicalisation, Adolescence gives migrants the vital insights into the exorbitant cost of repainting a van and the varied uses of emojis.
“We are building special screening centres in Dover and will ensure they’ve complied with the rules. They won’t be able to just watch the gripping first episode. If they haven’t done the boring one in the school they’ll be sent straight back.”
Migrant Samir Jandali said: “I could not be more English. I have watched all of Midsomer Murders, and hope one day to be killed with a pitchfork by a vengeful vicar disguised as a scarecrow.”
