Sunday, 27th September 2020

No-deal Brexit worth it if it means never hearing about 'the 17.4 million' again

BRITONS will happily accept food shortages and a tanking economy if they never have to hear the words ‘the 17.4 million’ ever again.

Despite an extension to Brexit being less damaging than no-deal, most people will take their chances with hunger and misery if they can escape the tedious phrase.

Office worker Tom Booker, 42, said: “I would cheerfully fight my own mother for her last tin of baked beans if I never have to hear that number from some sanctimonious Leave-voting tosser again.

“Just the thought of them shutting up about their non-mandate to shaft the whole country makes me really look forward to grilling a dead pigeon to go with some Smash.”

Solicitor Emma Bradford said: “I’ll happily honour their precious referendum result if they just stop repeating ‘17.4 million’ like brain-damaged parrots.

“But maybe it will be fun when the other 50 million members of the population realise they’ve been dragged back into the Dark Ages by a minority of nostalgic twats all voting for random things.”

However Brexiter Norman Steele said: “17.4 million. You can’t argue with a big number like that.”