THE UK has confirmed that not a single thing in the entire world has any connection to Brexit.
Politicians both left and right have agreed that queues at borders, small boats, inflation, low wages, staff shortages, and the collapsing NHS are nothing whatsoever to do with Brexit, which is anyway done.
The prime minister said: “Brexit? Weird you’d even bring that up.
“Brexit is at once a perfect and brilliant source of eternal radiance that uplifts us all as a nation and as individuals, and completely over, in the past and not worth mentioning.
“It has no material effect on our lives. That was never the point and if you thought it was I pity you. It cannot be blamed for any failings nor, conversely, was it ever fated to bring prosperity. It simply is.”
Labour leader Keir Starmer agreed: “Brexit was a decision the British public took, about which they were right in every possible way, which is now history and cannot be debated or discussed again.
“Brexit cannot be at fault by its very nature. Would you castigate the night for not being the day? Brexit is Brexit is Brexit.”
