Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Johnson's 'charm' officially runs out

BORIS Johnson's comic persona is officially past its sell-by date, experts have confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that Johnson has lost his strange ability to win over voters by talking in Latin and arsing around like a 1920s slapstick comedian.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “This is bad for Johnson because he can no longer rely on idiots to vote for him because he got his head stuck in a bucket.

“He was losing charm anyway because we now know all he cares about is his career, and his constant WW2 references are just embarrassing in front of the grown-ups from the EU.”

Office worker Tom Logan said: “Boris was on TV today but instead of a hilarious buffoon all I saw was a strange middle-aged politician with a look of desperate ambition in his eyes.

“It was so disturbing I had to turn over to Countryfile and try to forget I stupidly voted for Brexit because of this clearly fraudulent twat.”