BREXIT is going so amazingly well that within a mere five months we are now at war with France.
The UK’s exit from EU rules took place only 19 weeks ago and already the country has seen rioting in Northern Ireland, threats to cut off vaccine supplies and now has sent two gunboats to Jersey for an armed conflict with our nearest neighbour.
Leading Brexiter Michael Gove said: “See? We told you we’d get Brexit done.
“With luck this little brouhaha in the Channel will escalate and we’ll soon be at war with France, the source of up to 40 per cent of the vital imports this country so desperately needs.
“With the rest of the EU blockading us in solidarity, we’ll turn to America only to remember that Trump’s gone, Biden’s Irish, and US troops are being deployed to Dublin in a classic pincer movement.
“Rationing will begin just like in the good old days, the youth will be drafted, Scotland will revolt and overthrow Westminster rule, and Boris will hold torchlight rallies demanding the total destruction of our enemies, sponsored by the Daily Mail.
“By the end of 2021 buccaneering, global Britain will be at war with the entire world, and of course itself. Because that’s Brexit, baby.”