Wednesday, 12th August 2020

Brexit marchers demand emergency airdrop from EU

HUNGRY, exhausted Brexit marchers have demanded an emergency airdrop of food, shoes and clothing from the EU if they are to continue. 

The Brexit march, which left Sunderland on Saturday to arrive in London on March 29th, are hopelessly lost in the trackless wastes of the post-industrial North and have signalled that they need aid urgently. 

Marcher Norman Steele said: “Unless we get food before the end of the day, we’ll lose some of the older ones. And when I say older ones I mean 85-plus. 

“We can’t hang around waiting for our government to organise anything. They’re too poor and too far away. But the EU’s only a swift hop over the North Sea and they’re groaning with resources. 

“We need food, preferably pies, waterproof hiking clothes, because a lot of us didn’t believe Project Fear and set out without coats, and ideally some kind of map. 

“We’ve got to reach London on time because that’s when Nigel’s joining us again. And after everything he’s done for us we can’t let him down.” 

He added: “A few crates of aid is the least the bloody EU could do. After all, this whole thing’s entirely their fault.”