Saturday, 15th August 2020

Brexit Mount Rushmore to feature carved heads of Jim Davidson, Nigel Farage, Elizabeth Hurley and Ian Botham

A PLANNED Brexit Mount Rushmore to be carved into the white cliffs of Dover will feature Nigel Farage, Elizabeth Hurley, Jim Davidson and Ian Botham.

The Brexiters' faces, each 70ft high, will be the first thing that greets visitors who arrive in the UK by ferry across the Channel, like they should.

Planner Wayne Hayes, who has made no practical arrangements to turn his idea into reality but fully expects it to happen, said: “I can’t think of four legends who more perfectly sum up the country I live in.

“Nigel, who gave us Brexit. Hurley is sexiest Englishwoman of all time. Davidson, our patriotic jester. And Beefy, the greatest all-round cricketer that ever lived and bloody sensible to boot.

“Who better? And don’t say Clarkson. He’s too jowly for stone.”

Dover resident Nathan Muir said: “Farage is more interested in polishing Donald Trump's balls, Botham retired 26 years ago, Hurley is the worst English actress of all time and Jim Davidson can’t even get pantomime work.

“Is this who we are as a nation now? Yes it is.”