Brexiters delighted with their childlike plans for the economy

BREXIT supporters want everyone to see the colourful drawings they have done of Britain’s economic future.

The ongoing negotiations and predictions of food shortages have led Brexiters to come up with ideas that experts described as ‘charming if they did not involve economic disaster’.

Leave voter and retired engineer Roy Hobbs said: “In my drawing we make the pound go back up in value by reducing the number of pounds. It’s called ‘supplying and demanding’.

“Everyone collects their pound coins and bashes them with a hammer until they’re unrecognisable, or melts them with a blowtorch.”

He added: “If the economy is still weak we can make amazing products the whole world wants to buy. So I’ve done this drawing of a shed with built-in speakers so you can listen to music in the garden.”

Office worker Emma Bradford said: “In my drawing anyone who doesn’t buy British is shot for treason.

“I can’t believe no one’s already thought of that.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Clinton in narrow victory over deranged baboon

HILLARY Clinton remained on course for the White House despite an unconvincing debate victory over a crazed baboon.

The Democratic presidential candidate had been expected to ‘seal the deal’ at last night’s event, but struggled against the screeching ape and its strategy of flaring its nostrils and displaying its crimson buttocks.

While Clinton was once again forced to address the ‘deleted emails’ scandal, the baboon spent the early part of the debate clambering over the audience and attempting to grope women.

The ape returned to the stage and sat glowering at Clinton and banging its fists on the floor. It then screamed “eeeek! eeeek! eeeek!” when she attempted to set out her federal tax policy.

US political analyst, Bill McKay, said: “Clinton will be frustrated, but at the same time the debate will have had little impact on those Americans who actively want to vote for a deranged baboon.”