Britain demands oaf

BORIS Johnson will become prime minister because he seems funny, it has been claimed.

The Institute for Studies found that Johnson will become the next Tory leader because he had made chucklesome appearances on Have I Got News for You, Room 101 or Top Gear.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Johnson has been on almost every entertainment show, which pretty virtually guarantees him the support of Britain’s idiot demographic, a group almost as large as the electorate.

“Idiots love Johnson’s contrived, clownish TV persona, and so will vote for him even if his policies mean they’ll be living under a flyover and cooking rats over a brazier.”

Voter Tom Logan said: “Boris reminds me of Dennis the Menace, which makes him the ideal person to run the seventh largest economy in the world.

“Whatever people say about his competence, I just think of him dangling off that wire and it makes me laugh like a nitwit.”

He added: “There he was, just hanging there like a big fat wingless seagull. Those are the sort of bold, decisive hi-jinks this country needs.”