Wednesday, 28th October 2020

Cameron book stuns with revelation that Johnson and Gove are twats

DAVID Cameron’s memoir has left the nation reeling with the revelation that Boris Johnson and Michael Gove are a pair of twats.

Britons fear their minds may explode while reading Cameron’s book For the Record because of its shocking claims about their most beloved political heroes.

After reading an excerpt in the Times, teacher Mary Fisher said: “Michael Gove has always been a hero of mine, as well as representing the ultimate sexual prize. However Cameron’s book portrays him as a duplicitous little freak.

“Apparently Johnson’s a twat too. That’s more mental than all the Matrix films combined.

“This literary dynamite should have a sticker on it saying ‘Warning: Contains truth bombs’.”

Meanwhile, charity shops have already warned that they cannot accept copies of the book.

An Oxfam spokesman said: “I predict a few hundred of these might turn up on a lorry. The answer is no.”