THE inquiry into the Iraq war will leave out parts of the transcript where Tony Blair and George W Bush were exchanging bedroom intimacies.
Sir John Chilcots decision to omit pet names, coital exclamations and discussions about what position to try next time has been criticised by campaigners.
Tom Booker of the Stop the War Coalition said: Were told that these are sweet nothings, murmured words of devotion and cries in the heat of passion.
But how do we know that Bush didnt say This babys the only real weapon of mass destruction in this whole deal, or that Blair didnt reply Use me, use me like Ill use the ill-won consent of Parliament?
A spokesman for the former Prime Minister said: There are parts of the transcripts that, for security reasons and to ease the pain of a broken heart, should not be put in the public domain.
After sex Bush usually liked to talk about Kennedys real assassin, whats stored at Area 51, the USs teleportation technology thats being kept from the public and the hollow earth.
Nobody needs to know anything about all that.