Clegg to veto punctuation in NHS reform bill

NICK Clegg restored his political authority today by threatening a revolt over the use of punctuation in the NHS reform bill.

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Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,There’s a really foxy girl who drinks in my local and I’ve decided I’d like to have sex with her. I’ve heard on the grapevine that she likes men with expensive cars and designer clothes – unfortunately, my job as a service station assistant only just about keeps me in Pot Noodles and Lynx. I thought maybe I could break into an old lady’s house, rough her up a bit and then steal all her life savings and ornaments. My question is: should I bother with all the hassle of buying a flashy car when I could just hand this girl the loot and tell her to get her knickers off?Floyd,Bristol

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