Corbyn looks back on best-ever year of jam making

JEREMY Corbyn has congratulated himself on a year in which he delivered outstanding home-made preserves.

From damson to gooseberry, strawberry to rhubarb, close friends of Corbyn feel he has built up a lasting legacy of fruit-based spreads for toasts and breads of all kinds.

Corbyn said: “I’ve been tirelessly crushing fruits and heating them with water and sugar to store in jars. But now the delicious results are plain to see.”

Unlike predecessors such as Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband who were too friendly towards vested interests such as banks and corporations, Corbyn made jam a top priority in his leadership.

The Labour leader is particularly proud of two jams he personally created; a tangerine-based marmalade developed during the EU referendum and a blueberry preserve he has been working on day and night in the run-up to the debate on Aleppo.

Corbyn said: “The next few years are going to be especially challenging for the Labour movement with the Conservatives bent on pursuing policies that will rob ordinary working people of their life chances.

“We must be bold and imaginative in our responses. Pear and pomegranate. No one’s tried that before, have they?”