Monday, 3rd August 2020

Corbyn ruins old folks' coach trip to Whitby

LABOUR leader Jeremy Corbyn ruined a day out to Whitby for all the other pensioners by being an awkward sod, it has emerged.

The aging socialist kept overruling the other 48 tourists and insisting everyone do what he wanted to do even though the other options were clearly better.

Roy Hobbs, 70, said: “Jeremy made us go to the Whitby Knots & Rope Museum even though everyone else wanted to do the Dracula Experience. It took bloody ages.

“Then we were having fish ’n’ chips for lunch but Jeremy had found a vegetarian cafe instead. Yvonne got quite upset because she’d been looking forward to it and now all she had was shredded lettuce and cheese in a bap.

“Captain Cook’s a colonialist, which is apparently bad, and John Bull’s Rock Shop is peddling outdated patriotism so we couldn’t go there, but he dragged us into a garden centre so he could scrutinise the marrow seeds.

“He’s not a nice, well-meaning old chap after all. He’s a self-centred, bearded git.”

Corbyn said: “Everyone had a marvellous day and agreed with me throughout. I’ve signed up for the Grasmere trip in August.”