Sunday, 27th September 2020

Corbyn secretly in love with Rory Stewart

JEREMY Corbyn has admitted to a huge ‘man-crush’ on Conservative leadership candidate Rory Stewart. 

The Labour leader had considered the Tory contest to be beneath him, but caught one glimpse of Stewart’s misfit charm and fell deeply in love. 

Corbyn said: “All my life I’ve been searching for him, but I never knew. 

“An intellectual posh boy well-versed in political theory. He’s just like Lenin. 

“Rory has travelled in Afghanistan and Nepal, smoked opium and written best-selling books. I’ve only ever looked up Palestine on Wikipedia.

“He’s got to be a communist at the very least. I would follow him slavishly in a single-party state anytime.” 

Corbyn added that he hardly ever thinks of previous crush Chuka Umunna these days, and does not care what he is up to.