Corbyn unveils crazy plan to not completely f**k up education system

JEREMY Corbyn has been branded a danger to British children after unveiling a demented plan to spend more money on their education.

The Tories said the Labour leader’s pledge to spend an extra £20bn on educating people proved once and for all that he is a gibbering lunatic who wants to set fire to every single school in this country while cackling like Satan.

Education secretary Justine Greening said: “Any idiot knows that the best way to educate children is to spend as little money on it as you can possibly get away with.

“We will pursue a sensible, well-established education policy of dicking about with schools until the whole system is completely fucked up.

“And then we’ll do it all over again.”

She added: “And we will do this by cutting corporation taxes for deeply patriotic multinational firms who just want to fire their army of cheap labour and replace it with robots.”