Don’t worry, there’s loads of ways around it, Tories reassure rich

THE Conservatives have reassured wealthy voters that there are loads of loopholes in their death tax and they will not lose a penny. 

The tax is intended to take any inheritance above £100,000 to cover care costs, but senior Tories have confirmed that it will only apply to the little people. 

A spokesman said: “Anyone with property worth £500,000 or more who’s worried about this just needs to get a good accountant. 

“Blind trusts, shell companies, offshore accounts, putting it in the dog’s name, rezoning an 18-bedroom country manor as an industrial unit, whatever’s most convenient. 

“This isn’t for us. Like all Tory policies, it’s targeted at those drab middle-earners living in their awful cul-de-sacs, to make sure they don’t help their pinch-faced offspring up the social ladder. 

“Of course, if you’re truly rich, then death taxes are irrelevant. Death is something we’ve moved beyond.”