EU covers its eyes while UK shits its pants

THE European Union has agreed not to look while the UK spends the next week soiling itself.

Britain will this week vote whether to punch itself in the face, jump off a roof believing it can fly or whether to do all this again in May, while the EU continues to treat us as rational actors capable of making decisions in our own interest.

EU negotiator Michel Barnier said: “You know how sometimes children are so pathetically incapable it makes you almost hate them? Like that.

“We know what you’re going to do. You know what you’re going to do. Fill your pants with shit and then say it’s all somebody else’s fault. We don’t need to watch.

“Over here we’re discussing climate change, trade deficits, currency fluctuations, grown-up stuff.

“And you? It’s ca-ca time. Again.”