THE heatwave, puppies and the poisoning of Game of Thrones tyrant Joffrey prove that austerity is working, the Tories have claimed.
Conservative chairman Grant Shapps said: “I look outside and see blossom on trees, birds building nests and children playing delightful innocent games, showing the effectiveness of the bedroom tax.
“Ordinary people enjoying a cup of tea, a Bourbon biscuit and Countdown should be reminded that all these things are only possible because of the introduction of market-led reforms to the NHS.
“Stubbed toes, wasps and the shortage of Frozen merchandise are hangovers from Gordon Brown’s Labour administration.”
Ed Miliband has responded by promising that under Labour there will be more Labradors chasing Frisbees, a greater chance of double rainbows, and simultaneous mass orgasms if a given set of economic conditions are met.