Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Five Brexit benefits they're not telling you about

JUST six days into Brexit, and the many positives the left-wing media aren’t telling you about are blindingly obvious. Norman Steele talks you through them: 

Better food

Not even a week in, and already the EU’s given up trying to force us to eat its unwanted baguettes and pasta. There’s literally none on the shelves. And beyond Melton Mowbray’s proprietary pork products there is a wealth of British cuisine waiting to be discovered. Did you know that jellied eels are real?

Better passports

The media are focusing on non-stories like ‘spiking infection rates’, ‘a national lockdown’ and a ‘travel ban’ to try and hide this. But what else was Heathrow so crowded for the other night, if not a crush of patriots buzzing at using their proper passports to visit Dubai?

Better jobs

According to Al down the British Protection, you couldn’t used to get a job without a year volunteering in a Portuguese vineyard. And he should know, he’s been unemployed since the Falklands War. Now you can get whatever promotion you like, just by asking. That’s Brexit.

Cheaper holidays

Yes, you read that correctly. They might be in in places like Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Stroud, but they’ll be cheaper. The money you save on airfare can be spent on Cornish vodka.

No French kids

Red tape and a hostile environment will mean fewer French children in backpacks walking around market towns. The pavements will be clear, the parks will be peaceful, and the line for McDonald’s will be a pleasure to stand in. This one’s an actual, real benefit, isn’t it.