Grown man still needs little song to remember alphabet

A FULLY-GROWN adult can only remember what order letters go in by singing the A-B-C song he was taught in nursery. 

Tom Booker, aged 38, is a solicitor with three children and a detached house, but can regularly be found singing the children’s song under his breath when trying to find files.

Wife Carolyn said: “He thinks he’s doing it in his head, but we can all hear him. It’s like the house is haunted by the ghost of a Victorian child.

“He doesn’t use his fingers for adding up. He can even multiply numbers without chanting his full times tables. But when it comes to achieving functional literacy, he uses a jingle for five-year-olds.

“Between that and him singing Happy Birthday twice every time he washes his hands, it’s like an episode of Sesame Street in here.”

Booker said: “It’s not that I don’t know the alphabet. It’s just that when I need to know whether N comes before M, I have a melodic mnemonic device that employs a jaunty little tune.

“Wait, the tune’s Twinkle Twinkle Little Star? My God, I’ve been singing it 34 years and never realised. I really am thick as shit.”