Saturday, 24th October 2020

Five things Brexiters believe that they think we all believe

BREXIT is about belief. But Brexiters not only believe in Brexit, they have a few other beliefs that they think we all share. But we don’t. Here’s a few of them: 

Passing Johnson’s deal means Brexit is done and dusted

Brexiters who just want to get Brexit done firmly believe that passing the withdrawal agreement means it’s all over and done with and will never be discussed again, rather than beginning years of balls-aching tedium. It’s like claiming you decided to have kids so you would never have to think about kids ever again.

Remainers are in it for the money

Voting Remain, as the little-mentioned 16.1 million did, did not automatically entitle voters to an EU subsidy. Nor does every Remainer’s life revolve around cheap Polish builders, Scandinavian au pairs and fortnightly skiing holidays.

The law is subervient to Brexit

Why hasn’t John Bercow been hanged for treason? It’s a troubling question if you believe UK law is based on how closely it accords to what Brexiters want. Clearly the British legal system needs to up its game and introduce amputations for political correctness and Wicker Man-style burnings for police chiefs operating speed cameras.

Only evidence that supports you counts

The truth is anything that supports Brexit. The EU wants to flood Europe with Muslims as part of their sinister globalist agenda? Obviously true, even if you heard of it on a conspiracist’s YouTube video run by a man who claims the Moon is a six-dimensional hologram and corrects misconceptions about Hitler.

Brexiters are the victims in all this 

Mean things have been said about Brexiters. What was the point of a referendum if that’s going to be allowed? It’s totally unreasonable to accuse anyone shouting ‘traitors’, ‘snowflakes’ and ‘the Fourth Reich’ of being anything other than the victim in this. No trade deals until you apologise.