Budget just a picture of a skull and crossbones

PHILIP Hammond has revealed that his Budget is just a picture of a skull and crossbones.

The Budget, which people had hoped would contain more money for the NHS and housing, is considered somewhat of a let down by everyone except prominent Tories and pirates.

Long-term pirate ship captain Norman ‘Keel-Haul’ Steele said: “As a lifelong Tory voter and vicious barbarian of the sea, this Budget really appeals to me.

“Some people may complain but that’s because they don’t have a long boat and 12 strong seaman that they can use to invade foreign lands then steal all their gold and precious minerals.

“I mean, what use is the NHS going to be to me when I’m blasting a small Caribbean island with massive cannons?

“Which is a point Jacob Rees-Mogg made to me only yesterday.”