Monday, 8th March 2021

How to get a decent nap during a pandemic, by Boris Johnson

I THINK it’s pretty ruddy important to get some shut-eye during the working day. It’s tricky with Covid going on, but here’s how I manage it. Maybe you can too.

Don’t take your work too seriously

Taking your job too seriously is a real snooze-killer, so don’t worry about anything. If your naps clash with a dozen key Cobra meetings, so be it. You can always wing it, and other people will probably pick up your slack.

Invest in some really comfy pillows 

Just what you need for a trip to the land of nod. I like to really nuzzle into those pillows so that when I wake up, my hair is already messed up in my trademark ‘look’, which is roguish, fun and handily covers my bald patches.

Don’t let your kids disturb you

There’s very little chance of sleeping if the kids are around. So when I need a brief British version of a siesta, I have Carrie take Wilf out for a walk. Although in the past I’ve found never seeing your kids and denying some of them exist works too.

Delegate

While I’m vividly dreaming about flying a Spitfire in WW2, in the waking world my bidding is being done by such reliable ministers as Hancock, Gove, Raab, Patel and Williamson. Nothing could go wrong with the country in such safe hands. And Marcus Rashford can always think up a few policies.

Tire yourself out

For me, exercise does the trick. So why not go on a seven-mile bike ride with your entire security detail? Yes there’s a lockdown on, but you need your beauty sleep. When you wake up, it’s unlikely the entire nation will be absolutely furious about it.