Idiots still calling Johnson ‘Boris’

IDIOT voters, pundits and broadcasters are still referring to the prime minister as ‘Boris’ as if he were a cuddly children’s toy not a neo-fascist monster. 

Recent weeks have seen Johnson face accusations of being an unprincipled liar, racist, coward, lawbreaker, groper. philanderer, blusterer and misappropriator of public funds whose dog would make a better leader.

And yet literally millions of people who should know better continue to address him as ‘Boris’ as if he was a much-loved children’s character like Paddington fucking Bear.

Mary Fisher, of recently-formed pressure group Stop Calling The Twat Boris, said: “As a nation, we need to shove ourselves against the walls by the lapels and slap ourselves hard in the face.

“Every time you call this ruinous, toxic, tousled lump of suet ‘Boris’, we inch further towards being an offshore tax haven and slave colony run for the benefit of Boris, Jonty, Tarquers, Cobbo, Annunziata and the rest of them.

“Stop it with this infantile, smirking, whimsical bollocks. This isn’t a Have I Got News For You episode. This is reality.

“As for ‘BoJo’, piss off all the way to hell. He didn’t win the bloody heptathlon. He’s a psychotic, egomaniacal, hellbound disaster capitalist.”