GEORGE Osborne last night revealed he has a new dog called Lola that he currently has no plans to hurt.
The chancellor said the animal would live a long and happy life because ‘Britain is a nice place full of sensible people’.
He said: “I am absolutely certain that this country’s millions of dog lovers will vote Conservative at the next election.”
Holding Lola close to his face until their noses were touching, he added: “The chances of me having no choice but to throw you in a river are negligible.”
A Treasury spokesman said: “The chancellor is a fundamentally decent person so it’s more likely that he would only pretend to hurt the dog.”