Saturday, 24th October 2020

Is there a chance Brexit isn't working because it's total sh*t? ask Remainers

REMAIN voters have put forward the tentative theory that Brexit may not be working out because it is fundamentally flawed and pointless.

A large section of the electorate has posited a link between Brexit legislation never being passed and Brexit legislation being riddled with holes and making everything worse.

Marketing manager Donna Sheridan said: “I know we’ve got to have it because it’s Brexit and all that. But if every time we get a look at it we go ‘not that Brexit, that Brexit’s awful’ then could it be that Brexit itself is the problem?

“It seems like a lot of MPs have noticed this too. This is just my theory, but I think they’re reluctant to wreck the economy of the country they were elected to look after.

“And if Brexit was really good, wouldn’t the entire EU be trying to leave the EU? They’d be much richer and get their freedom back. So maybe - and this is just an idea - Brexit won’t achieve that.”

Tom Logan of Bolton said: “I think what’s causing problems for Brexit is that it’s a load of boll*cks. Even my uncle Brian’s been forced to concede that we won’t actually be able to deport every non-white person.

“There’s no shame in admitting we were wrong. Well there’s some shame. Loads of shame in fact. It’ll be a national humiliation. But still better than Brexit.”