Monday, 3rd August 2020

I've got a Brexit idea I think you'll love, May tells Parliament

THE prime minister has contacted Parliament with an innovative and fresh idea of how to take Brexit forward that she would just love them to consider. 

Theresa May told the Commons that if they are looking for plans that can gain wider acceptance among MPs, then as it turns out she has the very thing all ready.

She continued: “If it’s compromise you want this is perfect. It still means we leave the EU but we remain absolutely tied to it in every way that matters, benefiting from all their trade deals and so on.

“There’s even a special ‘backstop’ clause which mean they can’t get rid of us even if they want to! Clever or what?

“Hard Brexiters absolutely hate it, which has got to be a good sign for you guys, and guess what – it’s actually been pre-approved by the EU themselves. I know! Brilliant!

“Get this on the table and we could have Brexit sorted within a fortnight. Sounds too good to be true, right? Here’s the catch: it isn’t.”

Oliver Letwin said: “This is absolutely perfect. I can’t understand why we’ve not seen it before.”