Saturday, 15th August 2020

No-deal Brexit will be easy because MP with balloon for a head was in the TA

A NO-DEAL Brexit will be a doddle because a Tory MP with a balloon for a head has served in the Territorial Army, it has been confirmed.

The inflatable clown toy admitted that no-deal may involve a few ‘bumps in the road’ but stressed that if you are tough like him, the bumps will be like the tiny balloons you find in bubble-wrap.

The bulbous rubber oaf said: “If you're an intellectual ponce who was not in the TA you may find it a bit bumpy. But it’s all for the greater good and it means we will have our freedom.

“The freedom to appear on television and remind people that I was in the TA and am not to be trifled with.”

The vibrating inflatable dildo added: “And it means we will have carried out the clear instruction given to us by the British people. I was in the TA so I know the importance of clear instructions.

“So in summary, I was in the TA and you're just some ponce.”

Brexit voter Martin Bishop said: “This man should be prime minister.”