Jubilant Brexiters shitting themselves

BREXIT supporters are celebrating the Article 50 announcement while desperately trying to ignore all evidence that they are idiots.

Leave voters’ joy at leaving the EU has been tempered by nagging doubts that they may have done something quite stupid and people will be very angry with them.

Sales manager Wayne Hayes said: “I’m delighted Brexit is going ahead, but also a bit worried all my neighbours will lose their jobs and lock me in my shed and set fire to it.

“I’ll still be cracking open the champagne tonight, though. I need a drink to stop worrying about a recession and me having to scratch a living washing cars at traffic lights.”

Hairdresser Mary Fisher said: “If I have doubts I just keep saying ‘We’re taking back control!’ to myself to block out negative thoughts like ‘Shit, that shopping was expensive’.

“However it does worry me that all the Brexit politicians turned out to be self-serving toerags and David Davis looks as though he’s been given too many pills in the old folks’ home.”