NICK Brown, the Labour chief whip, has defended his £19,000 food bill, insisting it is not cheap to feed a pet cheetah these days.
Mr Brown said the bill, paid for out of the public purse over four years, reflected the needs of a modern, hard-working MP and his big, fast cat.
He added: "A typical week involves eight legs of lamb, two boxes of fish fingers, a selection of family sized trifles and a case of Jacob's Creek. And the cheetah needs a whole cow."
Mr Brown, who purchased the animal in 2003 using the controversial Additional Cheetah Allowance, said: "This is my second cheetah. As a government minister I have to designate my small, London cheetah as my main cheetah.
"I work long hours in the House of Commons and then I go back to Newcastle at the weekends to meet with my constituents and make sure my second cheetah gets plenty of exercise.
"And by the way, you've really got to see this thing chase down a frightened jogger. Christ on a fucking bike."
As the Daily Telegraph's expenses saga enters the dangerous animals phase, House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin once again refused to resign and warned angry backbenchers that if they did not co-operate they would have to answer to his baboons.
Meanwhile Mr Brown said he would not be paying the money back but promised he would deliver a saving to the taxpayer by eating the cheetah when it died of old age.