Livingstone promises more magical nannies

KEN Livingstone has pledged to boost childcare for Londoners with the introduction of magic nannies.

The Livingstone Poppins will not force your baby to clean chimneys

The plan, by the Labour mayoral candidate, will see thousands of enchanted au pairs ‘blown in’ on the east wind, landing gracefully on the drawing room carpet of every home in the capital.

The nannies, who will provide child support for working parents, will also assist with other household chores, such as magic cleaning, magic tidying and magic relationship advice.

Livingstone stressed his traditional flying nannies would replace the weird, warty Nanny McPhees introduced by Boris Johnson.

He said: “Unlike the ugly, high maintenance McPhee, the Poppins nanny doesn’t ride a moped and sidecar and so has fewer carbon emissions.

“The Poppins nanny also stimulates small business by continually urging children to buy bird feed for two pence per bag, so it will eventually pay for itself.”

He added: “Cartoon penguins.”

Liberal Democrat candidate Brian Paddick dismissed both the Poppins and McPhee strategies and pledged to set up a child care taskforce chaired by Nanny out of Count Duckula.