BRITAIN’S flocks are at risk of being devastated by an enormous wolf, David Cameron has warned.
The prime minister came running in from the grassy hillock where he sits keeping watch over the country, breathlessly warning of the huge carnivore which only he has seen.
Cameron said: “The wolf is heading toward the UK from Norway, where it’s flattening towns and throwing tanks and fighter planes around like chew toys.
“It’s 50 metres tall and planning to swim across the North Sea and eat all the sheep and then all the people in Britain.
“Luckily I have a plan to defeat it. I’ll need 5,000 pounds of sausages, a helicopter and everyone must vote to stay in the EU, for reasons I’ll explain later.
“I can’t divulge my plan without losing the element of surprise but the wolf will be completely destroyed so there won’t be any pictures or anything.”
MP Boris Johnson said: “We’re far more likely to be attacked by giant radioactive frogs sent by the French.”