May told pact with Corbyn could destroy Tories so could she please get on with it

THERESA May has been told that a Brexit deal with Jeremy Corbyn could tear the Conservatives apart and that would be cool.

Voters across the country stressed that if the only thing preventing a soft Brexit were concerns about the Tory Party then those were not really concerns at all.

Jane Thomson, from Stevenage, said: ”So we could get some form of Brexit that doesn’t fuck us up and that most people could just live with, while at the same time marginalising the screeching sociopaths on the right wing of the Conservative Party?

“Why are we still talking about this, when there is work to be done? Let’s get a fucking shift on.”

Tom Logan, from Peterborough, added: “Rees-Mogg and his gang of freaks would form a new party that will no doubt be hugely popular with people who will be dead in about 10 years.

“Cool.”

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'As a remainer, am I still allowed to hate the French?'

BREXIT is an act of madness that destroys decades of co-operation with our European neighbours. But I still really want to hate the French and everything about their ghastly country.

My time on a school exchange to Le Havre was fucking dreadful. My host family made me eat seven different types of offal. And there was this really weird day when the lads in my class bought porn from a service station.

I hate Brexit, but I’ve hated France for 30 years and I just want to know that I still can, even if Antoine de Caunes seems like a nice person.

Whenever I hear a French accent, I just think about fucked-up geese, how overpriced champagne is and how they all speak like bloody Amelie.

And why do they have to make everything so erotic, with words like croquembouche and pamplemousse? You never get that sort of filth from the Danish.

I adore Europe, I just think it would be so much better without the French. They love to complain, so wouldn’t it be better for everyone if we just swapped countries?

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