THERESA May has been pondering exactly when she changed from a competent, ambitious politician into a deranged Brexit crusader.
The prime minister, after dismissing yesterday’s election results as nothing that directly concerned her, began to muse about exactly when the switch took place.
She said: “I was still normal when I became PM, I think. It wasn’t that I just looked normal next to Andrea Leadsom.
“Something about my mantra ‘Brexit means Brexit’ seemed to give me power until reality itself bent to my whim, like unto God.
“I knew I had been chosen to deliver England – and the lesser bits – from a great evil and that my speeches were prophesies. Merely by saying I was ‘strong and stable’, I became so.
“And thus I miraculously remain prime minister despite the results because I am the people’s champion.”
She added: “I don’t miss being sane. Dealing with the real world was… difficult.”