ED Miliband has admitted to employing a nasty little Scottish woman to help around the house.
The Labour leader is the latest politician to come clean about employing foreign domestic staff, but stressed he was only doing so because he wants rid of her.
Mr Miliband said: “I’ve tried sacking her three times, but she just uses the f-word and then calls me a ‘pathetic wee shite’.
“If anyone would like to take her off my hands, that would be excellent. She will insist on living with you, so you will need a broadminded approach to all of the sexual swearwords.”
He added: “She does make a very palatable stew out of potatoes and, what appears to be, mince.
“Also – never, ever go into her room.”