MPs are to be banned from paying their children £40,000 a year to live in Fulham under new Parliamentary regulations.
Most MPs currently maintain one or two sons and a daughter in a large flat in the area to conduct research into developments in the strategically important London borough.
Conservative MP Tom Logan said: “My son Zack has spent a lot of time researching the introduction of the smoking ban at the White Horse in Parson’s Green. It seems to be going well but they do have a large beer garden.
“He’s also keeping an eye on the local economy, and as soon as house prices come down I’m going to buy another flat there with my housing allowance. I made an absolute killing on the last one so I’d be stupid not to.
“It really is a lovely place to live, and whenever Tom and his chums want to pop into the Commons for a few subsidised drinks, it’s just 20 minutes on the District line.”
Labour MP Henry Brubaker said it was vital he maintained at least one child in Fulham to keep a watchful eye on his class enemies.
He said: “I might represent a dirty, northern constituency but there is no need for my children to have to live there and run the risk of getting fat or pregnant.”
Under the new rules MPs’ sons and daughters will have to live in south-east London, somewhere between the Elephant and Castle and Peckham.
Although they will no longer be on a wage from their parents, they will be allowed to sell cannabis and reconditioned handguns.