CONSERVATIVE politicians who attended state schools should be trusted even less than the posh ones, the public has agreed.
Following the appointment of 17 state-educated ministers to Theresa May’s cabinet, fellow state school attendees have warned that they are the bastards you really have to watch.
Wayne Hayes of Stoke-on-Trent said: “If you went to Eton, you want to dismantle the NHS because you’ve only ever known the wonders of private healthcare and can’t wait to share its joy.
“But if you went to the local comprehensive, it’s personal. You hate the NHS because Lindsey next door whose dad was a doctor was always showing off in her LA Gear and that’ll teach her.
“When Liz Truss introduces mandatory life sentences for toilet graffiti falsely claiming that an individual, or an individual’s mum, is a slag we’ll wish the justice minister was a nice girl from Marlborough College instead.
“Margaret Thatcher was the state-educated daughter of a grocer. Did it make her sympathetic to the working classes? Did it fuck.”