Sunday, 25th October 2020

Rees-Mogg arrives at Commons in trainers, track pants, and sleeveless 'SQUAT GOALS' top

LEADER of the Commons Jacob Rees-Mogg has arrived at Westminster in his gym clothes because it is Saturday, he has confirmed. 

Rees-Mogg entered parliament in white running shoes, black track pants, a lime-green sleeveless top bearing the slogan ‘SQUAT GOALS’ and a matching headband, asserting that since it was the weekend the normal dress code did not apply.

He continued: “It’s Saturday, yeah? Should be liftin’ with my doggz, not stuck in this hole.

“If they’re making the Moggman work on a Saturday then the Moggman’s gonna wear what the Moggman wears on a Saturday. Outside hours, innit?

“Hopefully we can get this shiznit wrapped up and I can get back down the weight room, do a couple hours on my quads, chillax then log onto Fortnite for the evening. New map is hardcore.

“Okay, whatevs, I’ll get changed. Fash state, seriously.”

Rees-Mogg then entered an anteroom before emerging in a three-piece pinstriped suit and said: “Now, gentlemen. May we proceed to the business of the House?”