Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Review of the decade lists can f**k right off, says everyone

THE entire British population has experienced a rare moment of unity to tell ‘review of the decade’ lists to f**k right off.

With months still to go until 2020, the public has said it is just not ready to accept the passing of another 10 years, particularly given how sh*t most of them have been. 

Office worker Donna Sheridan said: “I can’t take any more ‘Top 50’ lists reviewing the decade’s TV, films and memes. They’re just a reminder of how fast the handcart is speeding towards Hell. 

“This is the decade when Love Island exploded, Star Wars went weird, and Brexit meant 2020 will be total rubbish. In that context I don’t need some smug broadsheet journalist to tell me how good Maroon 5 were in 2014.” 

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies called for an immediate ban to prevent the proliferation of mindless polls.

He said: “As this wheezing decade breathes its last breath, I would beg anyone who is complicit in making these lists to stop inflicting cruelty on a nation that is already suffering so much. 

“I especially implore them to stop mentioning the 2012 Olympics. To remind people of such optimism is simply barbaric.”