Remain campaign unleashes even less likeable politicians

PRO-EU campaigners have unveiled a new slate of wildly unpopular politicians in a bid to boost the Remain vote.

Gordon Brown has been revealed as the surly new face of the campaign for Britain’s continued membership of the European Union, after fears that David Cameron was just too likeable.

Brown said: “The polls are narrowing, so what better way to give the campaign a boost than to enlist the most disliked prime minister in recent history?

“It’s ludicrous to suggest the Remain campaign is led by an out-of-touch elite, and I look forward to making that case alongside John Major and Peter Mandelson.”

A Remain campaign spokesman said: “The Brexit camp has some of the most nauseating politicians in the country, so we have to show we can match them with some faces that would really put your off your breakfast.”

A Vote Leave spokesman said: “I see your Gordon Brown and I raise you Christine Hamilton.”

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Mum refuses to tag herself when out for fear of being burgled

MUM Mary Fisher never admits to being out of the house on social media in case she gets burgled.

56-year-old Fisher even went so far as to post status updates pretending to be in her living room while actually on holiday in America.

She wrote: ““What a great episode of EastEnders we just watched at home.”

However the effect was undermined by the message appearing at 1.40am due to the time difference.

Fisher’s daughter Emma added: “We were both at my friend’s baby shower last weekend and at one point I checked Facebook and saw she’d posted that she was enjoying a lovely sit in her garden with a good book.

“I thought she must have left but then I looked across the room and saw her struggling to eat a piece of cake and drink a gin and tonic at the same time.”

Burglar Tom Booker said: “She’s a wily one. But she’ll slip up one day and then that old telly of hers will be mine.”