MANY new problems with Brexit have emerged recently. Here chipper Leave voter Roy Hobbs explains why the plainly catastrophic is somehow great news for Britain.
Data roaming charges to be reintroduced in Europe
Excellent. It means our young people visiting the continent will spend less time on their phone on their favourite ‘woke’ sites. They’ll be forced to walk around taking in their surroundings, and will realise just how dreadful the EU is.
Pigeon fanciers barred from having their birds participate in cross-channel races
Marvellous. Now our British pigeons are safe in domestic competitions. Stray into French territory and they’d doubtless be caught and eaten like horses.
A 17 per cent rise in food prices
Again, superb. Millennials are an obese crowd and food shortages will leave them leaner, fitter and more able to fight in World War 2.
EU limiting non-EU content in its broadcasting
Ha! Let them try. They’ll soon come back to the negotiating table when they pine for the wry, hilarious observations of Michael McIntyre or the quality drama of Eastenders instead of Benelux Tractor Of The Year, or whatever unwatchable drivel they watch over there.
British fishing industry ruined
They reckon without the slippery cunning of the British cod, which no European trawler is any match for. Like the plucky flotillas at Dunkirk, they’ll find a way back to British waters, to be served up at cafes in Margate and Walmington-On-Sea.