ANNOYED there’s a shortage of fresh produce in the supermarket, despite being warned about it when you voted Leave? Brexiter Roy Hobbs explains his confused anger.
No one said there’d be problems
Okay, a bunch of Remoaners, academics and trade experts did say there’d be serious problems. But I prefer laughing about what a bunch of cowardly wankers the French are in the pub. Everyone’s opinion is equally valid.
Where the f**k are the apples?
I love a nice apple. Sweet, tasty and good for you. But there weren’t any in Morrisons today. Rather than accept any responsibility for it myself, I can only conclude that the EU is carrying out an ‘apple blockade’ against us, like the U-boats in World War 2.
I’m not a racist
I don’t like foreigners but that’s because I have legitimate concerns about how young white people can get a job in the local balti house when it’s all stitched up by Asians. I’ll still be getting a chicken pasanda. It’s delicious, so I can’t be a racist.
It’s just Covid
Brexit is probably going really well, and the fact that my nephew’s import business is going under is just the result of this virus. Bloody Covid, although as a Brexiter I’m sceptical that the virus exists and reckon it’s just a way for woke Marxist elitists to make us all stay at home, for some unspecified reason.
Everyone needed to get behind Brexit
The Remainers/traitors sabotaged Brexit by not supporting it 100 per cent. I made the personal sacrifice of walking five minutes to the polling station and back again then forgetting about it. Someone else should have sorted it all out while I was watching Strictly and eating a ready meal.
Where’s my sovereignty?
Much as I love Nigel Farage – a fantastic, straight-talking guy with high moral principles – I’m a bit disappointed that my sovereignty hasn’t arrived yet. I’m not sure what sovereignty is, but I assumed it would be a medal or collectable coin.