CRITICS call it ‘the longest passive-aggressive note to housemates in history’, but what is actually in Labour’s Little Red Book?
1. Nationalisation of BT, water companies, energy companies, rail services, bus services, online bookmakers, Pret A Manger, Urban Outfitters, Timpson and Fanta.
2. Brexit, but lovely.
3. Renewing Trident nuclear weapons system and this time parading it around for everyone to enjoy, perhaps through a big square.
4. Reintroduction of grant-funded education to help students cope with rising cost of Jack Wills clothing.
5. Vague promises about limiting immigration cut and pasted from Priti Patel’s iPad.
6. Remaining 42,000 words cut and pasted from Das Kapital and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.