We are bigoted and intolerant too, say young voters

YOUNG voters are angry about being stereotyped as tolerant and liberal, it has emerged.

After concerns were raised about them not voting in the EU referendum, young people said it was patronising to assume they were not bigoted xenophobes.

Student Tom Logan said: “I’m just as intolerant as the worst kind of ageing golf club bore.

“I hate the Germans, gays, Muslims, ‘socialists’ and Greenpeace. You’d think you were talking to some monstrous hybrid of Clarkson, Littlejohn and Farage if I wasn’t a gangly 19-year-old with spots.

“Stereotyping young people as left wing is as bad as racism. Which is ironic because I’m actually quite racist as well.”

Receptionist Nikki Hollis said: “Lots of us have got half-baked right-wing views about everyone needing to be self-reliant and it’s your own fault if you starve.

“Also, they think we’re all into green issues, but I don’t see why I have to work hard and pay tax when zoo animals are getting free food and accommodation.”

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Boyfriend ruins nice weekend by saying what he’s thinking

A MAN has ruined a lovely weekend with his girlfriend after answering a question truthfully.

Martin Bishop, 32, and Eleanor Shaw, 31, had stopped for a rest while out for a countrsyide walk, when Shaw suddenly asked Bishop what he was ‘thinking’.

Bishop said: “I was thinking what most men would in that situation – ‘I could survive out here on my own, no problem at all. Bear Grylls is a total fraud’.

“She looked at me as if I’d asked if I could film her having a pee. For someone who’s always said she values honesty, she seemed upset that I didn’t spin a load of drivel at that particular moment.”

Shaw, 31, said: “I was hoping for maybe ‘this would a great place to bring kids’ or something else from the List of Approved Sentimental Horseshit.

“I assumed he knew the rules.”

Shaw said the relationship was now at ‘Year Zero’ and that Bishop’s re-education would be ‘traumatic’.