Sunday, 25th October 2020

What isn't prorogation?

PROROGATION, the word on every Briton’s lips this week, definitely means the dissolution of Parliament before a Queen’s speech. 

Everyone knows that, none of us had to Google it, and nobody got it hopelessly wrong. So what isn’t prorogation? Find out:

Prorogation is not a method of navigation used in the 1700s by the Royal Navy, who would strip, scrub themselves clean then kneel nude on the deck praying until they agreed on what bearing the greatest emanation of evil came from and sail there to find pirates.

Prorogation is not a hand-drawn erotic animation reel commissioned as vanity projects by Hollywood stars of the 1930s, shown at private parties. Examples include Fatty Arbuckle’s Boulevard Bozo and Crawford Capers, drawn by a young Walt Disney.

Prorogation is not a conclave of past, present and future Pogues members to decide who is currently lead singer of the band. If white smoke is released, it is a guest vocalist; if black, Shane McGowan.

Prorogation is not a democratic outrage, an attempt to secure no-deal Brexit by default, or legally questionable. It is a much-needed opportunity for a popular new government to put forward a bold domestic legislative agenda.

Prorogation is not a medical emergency often suffered by cattle where their internal organs all slide out of the rectum causing embarrassment and death. Though on a national level it is kind of similar.