Saturday, 7th December 2019

Worried mum finds Tory manifesto stashed under son's mattress

A MOTHER has been left concerned after finding a copy of the Conservative manifesto hidden under her son's mattress.

51-year-old Mary Cook was cleaning her 14-year-old son Julian's room when she noticed something hard and shiny stashed in the bed.

Cook said: “At first I assumed it was a porn mag, which would have been fine although a little old-fashioned. Then I read the cover which was blue and had some bullshit in boring-looking writing. That's odd, I thought.

"I opened it up and there was a picture of Boris Johnson standing in front of a banner. I just sat down on the bed, feeling numb.”

Cook later confronted her son, saying that it was normal and healthy to be curious about politics but he should talk to her if he feels confused.

Julian Cook said: “Only Boris has the best Brexit deal for Britain, ensuring a prosperous future where the hard-working will thrive.

“Also, I am in love with Priti Patel and last night I had a dream where we went to a farm and stroked a goat.”