JEREMY Corbyn has responded to Theresa May’s appeal for his help by reminding her that he is the leader of the Labour Party.
As the prime minister called on Corbyn and his MPs to help deliver her policies, Corbyn said: “Come again?”
He added: “Of course, Theresa, whatever you need. I got into politics to help implement the ideas of ruthless, right wing, authoritarian capitalists like yourself.
“Meanwhile, my lifelong support for policies that you find utterly repugnant was actually just performance art.
“In reality I’m a major shareholder in a South African diamond mine and a company that makes bullets.
“Also, I hate homos because Jesus told me to. You utter fucking cretin.”
The prime minister said: “Fair enough. I am just so shit at this. For the love of god, someone stop me.”